I'm crazier when I'm next to Her
by Flawrence
Summary: Hatter POV what he's thinking while waiting for Alice to return Please dont Tell Her by Jason Mraz songfic AlicexHatter. I added an epilogue REVIEW PLS
1. Please don't tell her that I miss her

**I dont own Alice in wonderland , If i did there would have been make out scenes here and there lol.**

**Songfic: Please Dont tell her by Jason Mraz**

**bold=songlyrics**

**HATTER POV**

_**I hear she's kicking ass across the board and rock two hundred thousand higher scorer**__**  
**__**Just in time to save the world of being taken over**__**  
**__**She's a warrior**__**  
**__**I couldn't play again because the game it never ended it never even landed on the can**__**  
**__**And never let me in to spend my quarter**__**  
**__**There's no love for me no more**_

She was a warrior, although I was the only one who believed it in the beginning. She didn't quite believe it herself but I knew. She couldn't possibly be the wrong one. My mind suddenly slips to a time when she and I stood silently at a balcony, she had just given me a small smile, and mine had just faded. I was afraid of the thought that I might not be real; just a figment of her imagination. I wished to tell her I was real, and my feelings were as well, but she never let me, just gave me a smile.

_**Say it isn't so**__**  
**__**How she easily come, and she easy go**__**  
**__**Please don't tell her that I've been meaning to miss her**__**  
**__**Because I don't**_

"I will miss you when I wake up"

I don't want to miss her too much. It will make me even more mad.

_**She was the girl with the broadest shoulders**__**  
**__**But she would die before I crawled over them**__**  
**__**She is taller than I am**__**  
**__**She knew I wouldn't mind the view there**__**  
**__**Or the altitude with a mouth full of air**__**  
**__**She let me down the doubt came out until the now became later**_

I recall walking down the forest, her on my hat. Although she was not bigger than Mally. I was a giant to her, yet she was never afraid. She sat on my shoulder and I told her about how The Red Queen came to rule… and of my clan. I told her she had lost her muchness, but I didn't believe it. She was still the Alice I know would save Underland, even though no one believed it but me, I am mad afterall.

Oh how I wish I could tell her how much I believed in her then. And how much I believed she would return.

_**Say that it isn't so**__**  
**__**How she easily come, how she easy go**__**  
**__**Please don't tell her that**__**  
**__**'Cause she don't really need to know**_

Oh how I wanther to know. But she needed answers, ones we… I, cannot provide. So I don't want her to know how much crazier I've become since she left, because I don't want her to not get her answers. I don't want her to come back to me and regret…

She doesn't need to know how much I need her.

_**That I'm crazy like the rest of us**__**  
**__**And I'm crazier when I'm next to her**_

The days seem longer, but time seems to stand still. The tea parties have become less frequent and I find myself alone. I have always been mad… but when she isn't around madness seemed to hurt.

So I push her out of my mind and try to forget, and although my heart still waits for her return, my mind tries to keep her out. Slowly, I find myself enjoying tea parties again, and small walks in the garden. Time is still slow and days are long, so while the sky is bright I keep a smile on my face and go about my day. But once the night comes, I cannot help but hurt, for my smile fades and my heart aches for her. I hurt until sleep finally comes. In the day I will once again deny my hurt and my lips will smile, but my eyes never will.

_**So why after the all of everything that came and went**_

___**I care enough to still be singing of the bitter end and broken eras**_

_**I told you I don't but**__**  
**__**I am only trying to be the best with my intent to cure**__**  
**__**The rest is sure to lay me ease the plural hurts of the words of reverse psychology**__**  
**__**That's easier said**__**  
**__**Easier than done**__**  
**__**Please don't dare tell her what I've become**__**  
**__**Please don't mention all the attention I have drawn**__**  
**__**Please don't bother cause she'll feel guilty when I'm gone**_

By day my smile gets harder and harder to produce and I'm afraid Im going crazier by the minute. I try to tell myself I'm fine… I'm happy but I don't seem to believe it anymore. At night my heart longs for her return, but the longer I'm alone the more I think she has forgotten. All this denial has changed me. If she were to show up at my door tonight I doubt she would recognize me at all. But that's only wishful thinking, for she wouldn't return tonight. Would she ever return to me at all?

_**Because I'm crazy like the rest of us**__**  
**__**But I'm crazier when I'm next to her**__**  
**__**And it's amazing how she's so self-assured**__**  
**__**But I know she'd hate me if she knew my words**_

Oh but I do hurt. More than ever.

No I'm not, not hurting, not alone. Not in love. The more I say it to myself, the more I might believe it. I am mad.

It is already dark. The night has come upon Underland, and I am once again alone at the head of the table. Alone. I hurt so much, and my heart aches. I don't know exactly how long since she has been gone for time seems to come when it pleases. Although I cant count the days (or weeks, or months) I still know its been long since I last saw her. The Alice… My Alice. I sigh, because it hurts to say her name. I have avoided saying her beautiful name since she left me. I feel my chest tighten as I try to stifle the pain coming from my heart. I sigh again as I let images of her run through my mind. The night is a time when I don't have to pretend, when I don't have to deny. For when sleep finally comes, I can be with her and I won't feel pain.


	2. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

As I sit on my chair, I finally feel sleep gently tug at my lids. I was about to stop fighting it and let dreams of her fill my heart when I feel soft fur against my cheek. I abruptly flick off whatever was bothering me when It disappeared as quick as it appeared. I open my eyes slightly when I see a whiff of smoke in front of me, and finally a set of blue eyes.

"Chess, leave me be"

"Oh well Tarrant if you are going to treat me that way then maybe I won't give you your present" He said with an amused grin.

"A present? For me? What would be the occasion dear friend" I said trying to hide my excitement. I did love presents after all.

"Well you have been looking less and less mad lately and more 'sad' I might aswell start calling you Very Sad Hatter" he said as he twisted and turned in the air before disappearing once more.

"I don't think I've been acting sad at all, I'm just as mad as ever" I faked a smile.

"Well if you don't need cheering up, then maybe you don't need my present after all"

"Chess"

"Oh fine" he sighed "I hope this makes you feel better dear friend, We have all missed your Futterwacken these days. Goodbye dear hat" and with that he evaporated leaving a puff of black smoke.

I sit at my chair, wondering what my present is, and where it could be. Is it new fabrics? Maybe a hat? Or maybe he promises to leave my hat alone? I was deep in thought and almost did not notice rustling within the bushes. I slowly peek to see what was making the noise when out of the moonlight I made out a figure in the dark. The figure stepped closer, and I saw dainty feet with blue shoes. I feel my heart skip a beat at the thought but quickly pushed the thought out of my mind. The figure came closer and I notice a blue dress, my eyes scan the figure quickly, and as my eyes land on hers, I let out a small gasp.

"Hatter?" I hear an angelic voice say.

_**Do I hurt anymore  
Do I hurt, well  
I don't  
I don't  
I don't**_


End file.
